Is it over yet?

I mentioned in fb that I finally had my cry last night. I cried for the hurt Suzie will feel in the time to come, the discomfort of having to leave her alone, the frustration of knowing what she has to go through and for being just plain tired and exhausted from the whole situation.

I didn't mention how much I prayed while I cried that she would have a beautiful relationship with her family. I also didn't mention that the hurt I felt is but a small sample of how Jesus Christ must have felt when he had to suffer for our sins. I was so besot with despair that I could only imagine how he felt even the tiniest little bit. I knew that he was there with me last night as I prayed for more strength and understanding.

I know that everything will work out for Suzie and the kids. I know that time heals all wounds and helps us to cope in a level we don't understand at this time. Heavenly Father has given me this knowledge time and again and everytime I get reminded, it's with a better understanding of what is meant.

Even now as I speak of this, I realize with the greatest respect that I would never feel the pain he felt in Gethsemane and I realize also that I love him more for what he did for me and all of us. I want you to know that I know my Father lives and loves me. I know the church is true and that Thomas S. Monson is the living Prophet of this era in time. I know without a doubt that the Atonement made by Jesus Christ is the true reason for this church and the only way we can be with him in eternal life. I also know that Suzie is blessed with an eternal companion who is waiting patiently for her when the time is right. In the meantime, he is busy doing the promises and teachings that Heavenly father has for him...

Contentions

I am amazed at how easy it is to find complaints, and discontent in the world. Just today as I was inquiring on facebook, I found choices...yes, no, not sure etc. Questions that could end up in arguments and regrets for a later time. It has been a very tough few months and with Richard's passing. I've come to realize that this life is very fleeting and that maybe...just maybe..too short for us to dwell on other's problems. I know it is a good thing to help people and to pray for all to be able to maintain a good life...and to overcome their struggles. I am just tired of all the anger and frustration that has shown up on this earth these last few years.

Heavenly Father has full control of my life. I know I must make my own decisions, but I also know that if I do the right course, he is always there to help me. Today, I made a statement which I ammediately regretted. As I turned to look at my sister, it struck me...I was angry at those types of statements only a few years ago. I appologized immediately and cried for my guilt. I realize that I should show more understanding on life's conflicts and solutions.

It is up to us to keep our hearts in the right place. It is up to us to continue to show compassion and love to all our fellow human beings. It is also up to me to remember who I am and to recognize my falacies before I try to point out someone elses.

Just remember always, Jesus loves me...If he can love a struggling depressed person with aches and pains, then that person (aka...me) knows without a doubt. I can love me..and I can share my love and belief with all those around me...

Just do the best you can...and avoid contentious attitudes and conflicts...

Love to all....

How do you start your day??

I tend to start my day with morning stares and wiping out the sleepies from my eyes. I then take my morning pills...yes, I take pills..one for potassium, indigestion, happy pills and the ever needed: pain medicines...And... then I read the Book of Mormon on my Itouch...yes, technology keeps me from lugging my heavy scriptures around and also makes it easy for me to read any time I want..

What would we do without the medication and the technology?? Well, I can think of a few things. I have tried to go without my cell phone, and I probably could succeed BUT... I think of people I need to call, text or just plain get in touch with in one way or another. I also realize that it's an awesome tool if I should be in my truck and it breaks down.. Right there...I am instantly put in contact with someone from AAA and everything becomes honky dory..crazy right??

Medication is mainly for making other people happy around me...Cuz, when Jan's not happy, NO ONE is happy... I appreciate the things we have in this world...Though 30 years ago..we didn't have these taken for granted luxury [sic] of the new toys and gadgets we have now.

So, rather than go and do laundry at a washboard and rock, I'll toss my clothes in the washer with a towel that does everything from washing to drying to softening and then..put them in the dryer and hang or put them away...I'M NOT SPOILED!!!